ShHh

Lets see, here lately:
-I've just been working, and its taking a toll on my sanity. There's just something about old people that will drive you batty if you let it. But, I'll keep on trucking like i always do.

-I decided what i want to go to school for and what i would be happy doing for the rest of my life, i want to be a Elementary school teacher, I would prefer kindergarten because they are so darn cute =)

-Eli is officially ours, mom and dad leave feb the 12th to go over and get him =) i am so excited, i cant wait to spoil him!


Later on the man is coming over, and i think cuddling is in order. <3


&&tifanie

<3

...wow i haven't written on this thing in ages, well lets see...

I am still with my wonderfully amazing boyfriend.

I still live with my best friend Joelle.

We got a picture of Eli, he's flippin' adorable.

We got a court date, Dec. 24.

All my Christmas shopping is done.

&school sucks

here i go again on my own

i moooooooooooooooooved im frrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

but anyways its not all it seemed to be, i mean im pretty lonely alot, im used to having little kids and noise, living without it is weird.

i prefer you

Other guys may be rich and hansome baby but,I prefer you.now but I prefer youYou have the quality that can't be surpassedand the love we found I know it's gonna last that's why I prefer youYou can't give me all the fine clothes that have been offered to me baby,but i prefer you.You can't give the riches that go, understand,but i still daddy I prefer youYou have the standard that i live by yeahand all the good lovin that i need,that's why I prefer youIt's a matter of choice what you wanna do baby,I've already told you what I'm gonna do baby. nowNow it's your turn baby to tell, tell me tell me baby now what you gonna do(ohhhhh)Stop wastin time make up your mind,baby now i prefer you.Don't put off tomorrow, what you can do right now babe,but I prefer you.Now tomorrow is a day that never comes today is the day that you better get out and run, run, runI, I prefer youI prefer youI prefer youI'd rather have you abay any old time now, don't want nobody else nowI prefer youI'd rather have ya right now today babyi prefer you

ugh

pretty much long passed couple of days worked tonight then tom night i work a double friday i went to see yes man with the man it was awesome! lol but iim partial to jim carrey oh well. off to my weekend of hell.

My Family and Friends...ie...my LIFE

MOM AND DAD

Mom you are the most beautiful person i know, inside and out. You have the patience of a saint and the heart of one too. You have been through so much in your life and you still turned out amazing. You are an extremely strong women, everytime dad left for the army you held your head high and worked your butt off to provide and show us kids that all will be ok. I can honestly say that you are my hero, and i want to be like you when i grow up(more =P)

Dad, you are also my hero, but your my AMERICAN HERO. Even though i hate war, i support you 150%, in what you do and i love you for it. You protect not only us but the US and the city of kansas city from traffic violaters. You work your bum off to give us kids and mom anything we need...but i will tell you this...take a break every once and awhile...it wouldnt kill ya..lol and i know that i shouldnt admit this but i know i have you wrapped around my finger..anything i need and your there..when it comes to dinner at work..or just someone to hug me and let me cry on your shoulder when her bf is being an ass..but neways i love you dad and your goofballish ways

BOTH OF YOU

thank you for not giving up on me, and for sticking through my rough patch, i love you both and im very sorry for any greif i caused you during it, it means alot..you know having parents that no matter what wont give up on me..

RANDY

So i know we pretty much never see eye to eye on alot...(you little conservative you)...and we get into out fair share of arguements, and as much as i hate to admit it your growin up....its soooo weird seeing you all talking to girls and being 16 and stuff man even my friends are saying your gettin cute blech...lol, i remember when me and you were little at the old house in our rooms in the basment staying up late and building that HUGE lego/building blocks city...lol we got really good at pretending to be asleep when mom heard us playing..even though we dont get along the greatest i love you..and i know highschool sucks as do girls but girls will come and go..youll always have me and the fam here for you your an awesome guy and deserve the world...stay classy kid...
oh and thanks for listening when i need to talk, amazingly enough when you actually try you can hear what ppl are saying =p.

EM

hey kiddo, you are without a doubt the craziest kid EVER but thats why i love you...your the coolest 10 yr old i know, you have a pretty astonding vocabulary, and a wicked imagination...not to mention you are beautiful, and seeing you grow up just makes me sad..i remember when youd follow me around and where your hat backwards like me...=) your were the cutest kid i was so happy to have a little sister to play with...oh and um sorry for the whole hitting your head on the doorway thing that was a total accident and well you turned out pretty good..you can blame the ADD thing on me if you want its cool..lol..but anyways im lucky to have a little sis like you, its scarey at times b/c i know you kinda look up to me and im not the best rolemodel in the world...but you and rand are the reasons i try to do better...you have great potiential emi..and even though i dont say it much...i love you...and your not evil...

ELI

Even though your not here yet...i love you..and come on kid hurry up im gettin a little antsy..oh and by the way im going to be the last to hold you when you get here =) that way i can hold you longer...

JO

Dude you are the best friend a chick could ask for, you always there when i need to talk, you bailed me out that night me and broch got into it..and unlike alot of ppl you dont care that im with him...lol and you dont care im a weird hyper pyromaniac...sry about lighting your butt on fire by the way...lol but you have to admit that was soooooo cooooooool!!!! love you like a sister!!

BROCH

Where to begin with you, lets see your my Brochatron, who shows no emotion until you see fit. =p despite that im very glad to have you, never have i given away my heart to someone who deserves it more. You are the rational to my irrational, the stop and think to my impulsive, and the sane to my insanity...lol and sometimes it goes both ways.You are a great man who can acheive great things, even though you dont know what your want to do with life yet i know that w/e you choose to do you will be great at it, and i will support you with ever you choose. I love you baby. "I needed someone just like you...i needed you" <3

BEDTIME!!!

tifanie

I've become acustom with insomnia lately, the stress of school, work and well just life has me tossing and turning until early in the morning. When i finally get to sleep i have i think one of the most disturbing nightmares ever, in it im alone in a dark room in front of a blank screen that just flashes the words i hate to hear....fat....ugly....pathetic...stupid...then i wake up in a cold sweat, shaking and crying. I have issues i know, but i just wish the dreams would stop. I have an idea why i have them, I feel like a complete ass b/c i failed school this semester my parents have to pay for my school now and i DID have a 2000 dollar scholarship, so now we have to dish out 900 some odd dollars for me and it was all well and good until we got the loan denied by the bank b/c they have a couple of loans out for the baby...so naturally i feel like an ass why should they suffer for my mistake, it feels like sophmore year all over again, i dont want to screw up something that they want so bad...idk how but ill make it up to them...maybe pick up a few shifts or something, and life has been rough lately, but its kind of getting better broch and i have mended somethings in our relationship, and are working on a few other things...and work..well work is hell..i the nursing home business is depressing, im attached to all of my residents and they are dropping like flies..i use that term because well b/c of my line of work i have become..well a heartless bitch..sry but there isnt a lighter term for that im so used to death and pain that it doesnt even phase me anymore...and i hate that...but someone has to look after these ppl..i mean if you think about it they are the generation that harbored ours, they took care of us now we have to take care of them...so for now ill suck it up and keep on my fake facade smile and work with my head held somewhat high..other than all this im doing quite well heh..hope this didnt depress anyone.





live and let live


tifanie